My Brain Was Hijacked

Child abuse survivors made it to the survival part by being resourceful and able to do whatever it takes to survive another day. I say this as an explanation of where my brain went for the last month. It's a long post, but important.

I was a political science major at UCLA in the 70s, a period of great turmoil and change. In the 90s my attention diverted to dealing with why I felt crazy all the time. This is a normal reaction to ever-increasing and visible DID/MPD symptoms. You feel like you are losing your mind. It takes a paradigm shift and a lot of risks in therapy to realize and accept that (1) you're actually just very gifted; and (2) your continued presence in this world was not a fluke or incidental detail. I've been fully immersed in the world of psychology, dissociation, child abuse prevention, and child abuse survivors for 15 years. I will continue on that journey to understand, interpret, and publish all that I've learned along the way.

But I never really lost politics in my life, if for no other reason than that child abuse prevention, mental health parity issues, and social program cutbacks all lead to some form of politics. It's the genesis for social program legislation; it provides funding or taketh it away; it is seldom black and white on any one issue. You're either, at minimum, aware of the politics behind your daily efforts, or your daily efforts take place in a vacuum.

I also studied economics, at first, to give me background to make informed investment decisions. I realized how intricately tied our politics are to the health of our economy -- and never more so than now. My studies expanded outward to look at global warming; at global food production declines; at the decimation of our ecosystems; at why Iraq really is about the oil -- and not in the obvious ways people assume (google "peak oil" and see what comes up); at the future of energy, generally. All of these issues are converging into one collossal synergistic problem worldwide.

I'm not diving into a treatise on these things now. (I will be posting links with much food for thought as time passes.) This post is about how this huge information overload kicked in my basic survivor instincts.

I have a good life now. Apart from an occasional hurricane coming up the coast to Boston, I'd not given much thought about how that might change. Then I realized we aren't even prepared for that hurricane, or anything else, and I went into overdrive to improve our disaster preparedness. Here's some of what I've researched and done in the last 4-6 weeks:

FEMA recommends emergency water storage of 2 gallons per person per day for a minimum of a week. That's 28 gallons (minimum) required here; we might have had 2-3 gallons at any one time. I bought 5 gallon containers because I can still lift them if I had to. I bought a 55 gallon barrel set up in the basement. I'm looking to implement rainwater collection, and I've bought water purification tablets. It's far too late to look for these things after the water treatment plant is taken out for whatever reason.

FEMA recommends emergency food storage of at least a week. I'm sure if we dragged it all out of the cupboards and fridge that we'd have at least a week of food. But it wasn't organized in any way to know what was there or its shelf life. We've bought long range storage basics that either don't require heat or can be managed on a camp stove, if needed. (I still want a camp version coffee percolater to prevent me from being a totally cranky person in a blackout.)

A news item a few weeks ago stated that the US is expecting a shortfall in home heating oil this coming winter. We've already locked in a price cap, but it will be an excellent investment to upgrade the attic insulation -- and it will help in summer as well as winter. I know more now about insulation and energy incentives than I ever thought possible. The upgrade is pending.

Even in the best of times, we get blackouts several times a year. I've researched solar energy systems. Until we can get a real fix on system costs, I'm buying some solar products with LEDs. These include a motion detector light for security purposes, and LED path lights which can be brought inside to provide enough light to not stumble in a night power outage. To further lessen our dependence on batteries, we have a hand-crank portable radio. We're also switching all lightbulbs to compact fluorescents which cost more upfront but last longer and lower our electric bill long term.

Our economy is not in good shape. (See trade and budget deficits; unlimited and unchecked military spending; looming housing bubble bursting; dollar devaluations; GM laying off 25,000 workers; unemployment figures obviously not getting better; and the recently passed bankruptcy law revision that doesn't care if you had a catastrophic illness and will never have the means to pay it off.) My most urgent priority is to pay off our credit card debt. The mortgage is a fixed rate, thank goodness. But all it takes is one late payment for credit card rates to jack up higher than what used to be Biblically referred to as usury. (See that pesky little story about money-changers in the temple, a part of the Bible that I guess isn't relevant to this Republican administration -- unlike every other Biblical reference that has been cynically used for political gain and expediency in the last 5 years. But I digress.)

This is where my brain and my attention have focused for six solid weeks -- and I've barely touched it. Our government is systematically cutting and killing the safety nets that have been in place most of my life. If you're one paycheck away from disaster -- which is a lot of people I know -- try to realistically consider what options exist for you, or create them, and prepare for it. Be your own best advocate in all things.